I remember a time with I was afraid of nothing. Like most adolescents, I thought that I could do anything and everything. Death was merely a rumored stranger, someone I did not expect to encounter for many years.
But the years did pass and I am now in my early forties (yep, I have to throw in the word “early”), with three sets of baby blues looking to me for love and support, I realize that I have a lot to live for and I don’t really have a desire to move on just yet. When you are a mother with a lot of responsibility, your mind can play tricks on you, reminding you often that each day brings a myriad of ways to hurt yourself:
Don’t drive to the beach at night alone! WHAT IF you meet a thief? Don’t swim out too far in the ocean! WHAT IF a shark bites you? Don’t eat the cilantro, WHAT IF it’s tainted? And this weekend: Don’t venture out onto those cliffs! WHAT IF you fall?
The picture above shows my daughter, Elise, on top of Grandfather Mountain. It’s a stunningly rugged mountain with a swinging bridge on top offering a mile-high view. In the picture above, you see my daughter pointing to another family who has ventured past the bridge to take in the view from the cliffs beyond it. As you can see, there isn’t a guard rail to protect you if you walk out there. But if you do, a spectacular view awaits you.
I wanted a taste of that view! There were many people walking out onto the rocks, including children and pets. I am not advocating taking a child onto the cliffs, but I wanted to do it myself. But fear began to rise inside of my chest. Don’t do it. It’s too far down! WHAT IF you slip?
I had a choice to make. I could return to our car and know that I had missed something special, a glimpse of the majesty of God’s creation. Or I could say a simple prayer and face my fear of falling. I could remain the Safety Mom or be the Adventure Girl I used to be, before I learned to hold on too tightly to the gifts God has given me.
I chose adventure! I climbed out to the highest rock and gazed down. A turkey vulture circled far below me, soaring above the trees in search of prey. I could see for miles in every direction and at once felt enormous, so high above everything else, and yet miniscule in comparison to the expanse of beauty surrounding me.
For one moment, I was a part of that mountain. And it was amazing.
Now I’m back to dishes and laundry and all of the mundane duties of being a mother. But that view is forever etched in my memory, and I thank God for it.
Sphere: Related Content
Stumble It!